Back to the drawing board (II).

We've been taught not to judge a book by its cover; looks don't matter; there is no such thing as "love at first sight", but more likely "lust at first sight", which in any case is not a good way to start a relationship.

Well, what if all that were wrong?

So, we have proven the superiority of the human race above all the other animals by creating human civilisation and our own codes of conduct. We have shown that we can rise above our primal beginnings and so-called baser instincts.

But, what if we have turned our backs on the natural order of things; that is meant to be; that is intended for the continued existence of the human race? In other words, maybe we can "read" a person by his facial features; maybe we are hard-wired to seek attractiveness, whether by objective or subjective standards; maybe it's intended for us to identify our life partners or mates by listening to the physical chemistry of our bodies (e.g. sniffing out each other's pheromones to determine genetic compatibility).

Studies done in 1987 and 1991 by Langlois et. al. have found that infants look longer at faces that are rated as attractive by adults, than at faces rated as unattractive by adults. If the preference exhibited is unlikely to have arisen from social conditioning, do we then surmise that there is an innate human tendency to gravitate towards attractiveness? Indeed, many other studies have been done on attractiveness.

Moving away from scientific research, what about palmistry, face reading and fortune telling, that have so many more years of research (some might say unscientific) and real-life anecdotes?

Look at your history of close friends. Do they all have a common facial feature? Do you have a preference for a face shape? Or have you ever, on first impression, or even, first sight, intensely disliked a person? Do you particularly dislike certain facial features? What about your significant other, or others (if any)? Have you tried sniffing them? Stripped of all artificial fragrances, do you still like them as much? Do you remember disliking the smell of the ex that you were only too glad to have rid yourself of? What kind of emotions do you experience as you breathe in the scent of the significant other or someone that you are attracted to?

So, are you a "facist", or maybe a "sniffer" even?

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Talking about attraction and marriage, what's so idealistic or romantic about marrying for love, or "the one"? Why do we have to try so hard to rationalise and sustain a union? Not that I don't believe relationships need to be continually nurtured, like plants. What I do believe is that it won't feel so much as a contrived effort than a genuine want that you don't need to consciously remind yourself of.

Been hearing about people whose marriages are not turning out well, or those who have not married for love and later found the follow-up hard to stomach. And there's the one whose husband slaps her and then walks out during arguments. It's not that domestic violence is uncommon. But this was especially disturbing and somewhat distressing because it's a close friend, this has been going on for a few years, she has never made it known before, and because I thought she was sensible enough not to have let it go on for so long. I've always felt that physical violence between a couple, even if it were just a slap, is just wrong. There's just something so base and morally wrong about a husband using physical force against his wife -- the love of his life...or not? Sure, there are tons of excuses one can offer, but there are some things that you just do NOT do. To me, once would have been one too many times.